So... what about your wake?
August 2005 (just barely pre-Katrina!)
Revised 13 December 2013

On Eagle's Wings

"You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, 'My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust.'

(Refrain)
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.
~ Michael Joncas

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run,
and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."
~ Isaiah 40:31

Okay, okay, okay. I know. We seem to be dwelling on death of late.
Trauma. Loss. Sadness. The need for comfort…
C’est la vie, non? And surely you agree that la morte is simply a part of
la vie. The cycle of life, as it were.
And why not? There is a lot of that going around lately. The Spice Cabinet
is, after all, “Your Webmistress, Up Close and Personal”, no? Our goal
here is to share with you what is going on in our corner of the world,
hoping that our words will somehow touch you.
There is no point in giving you the blow-by-blow description of our recent (and ongoing) traumas. Suffice it to say that we have been dealing with devastating illnesses in the immediate family for about five years now.
Surgery after surgery after surgery. Trips to M.D. Anderson in Houston.
Two cancer deaths. Hurricanes and the threat thereof. A pending lawsuit.
Not to mention the impact of global insanity…
So. Today, I finally took care of my will. What took me so long? Perfectionism, perhaps? I wanted to make absolutely sure that I had all my bases covered. Not that there is all that much to leave behind, mind you,
but somehow I was paralyzed by the thought of having to specify which
son got what. It finally struck me that this is not at all necessary, especially considering the fact that this ridiculous procrastination has been going on
for a good twenty-odd years now. A simple “last will and testament” will
do quite nicely, thank you. Highly preferable to no will at all, don’t you
think? And if, during the course of whatever years may be left, I feel the
need to specify in writing that Chef Keegan gets all the cookbooks, Kerry
gets the PC and the crystal and my granddaughter Kylie gets the jewelry
(or whatever), wills can be amended. No biggie.
I rest my case. The deed is done. Yet another monkey off my back!
The fact of the recent deaths in the family, plus the reality that my 82-
year-old Aunt Josephine (respectfully referred to by one and all as
“Miss Jo”) is in declining health and very nearly blind (most recent
surgery was a cornea transplant), brings to mind what a marvelously
healing experience a wake can be. Are you familiar with this tradition?

“Wake: The Irish practice of watching over the body by candlelight the night
before the funeral and the often wild feasting which follows. This may have developed simply because mistakes sometimes happened (cf. the folk-song
Finnegan's Wake upon which the James Joyce novel is based). The purpose
of the wake, therefore, was to create enough of a clatter to ensure that the
deceased was truly dead and to help the mourners forget their grief and
resume normal life once they were sure.”
(Courtesy http://www.alsirat.com/silence/cemterms/wake.html)

In the Catholic tradition, a wake is generally held the evening before
the formal funeral service. Often a rosary is placed in the hands of the
deceased, and the rosary is said at some point during the evening, often
led by a leader from the local community.
In our family, the idea is very simple: the wake (which can be held either before or after the funeral or memorial service, as circumstances dictate) provides an opportunity for family and close friends of the deceased to
gather and celebrate his or her LIFE. Period. Yes, there may be mourning and/or crying, as this can be quite an emotional time. Nevertheless, the primary function is to celebrate, to give thanks for the life of the loved
one, and to provide surroundings that honor and memorialize the deceased.
Therefore, laughter is not only expected, but inevitable. This is a time for remembering, for the telling of anecdotes and favorite family stories. It is
a time of closure, the beginning of grieving and the long healing process.
It almost goes without saying that in our family the favorite foods, drink,
and music of our loved one are mandatory. How better to let them know
how much they are loved and how much they will be missed?
Among my recent traumas is the fact that my responsibilities to Miss Jo prevented my attendance at both the funeral service and “Memorial Wake Party” (held about 2 weeks later) celebrating my Ya-Ya Sister Lori’s life.
It was quite the event, and everyone told me afterward that Lori would
have loved it. That, my friends, is the point. A wake has a life of its own
because the spirit of the deceased guides it.

(Click here and/or here for more information on the traditional Irish wake.)

My wake? Easy. (Revised 13 December 2013) Everyone who knows
me even slightly knows my taste in food, drink and music, as these are
the cornerstones of my life. Well, okay, right after my spiritual life. Just
in case, though, I will make a list to file away along with my will and
other Very Important Documents.

What to eat/drink? Here is my short list:
Shrimp Chippewa
Jambalaya
Baked ham, served with good bread, hot rolls and/or
biscuits (lots!), excellent butter and Hot Mustard
Catfish and Hushpuppies
Salsa and Guacamole with Tortilla Chips
Favorite Mexican Layered Dip
New Orleans Boiled Shrimp with Cocktail Sauce
(recipe follows)
Susan Spicer's Baked Oysters
Shrimp Dip
Liptauer
Tzatziki
Sausage Balls
Garlic bread
New Orleans Bread Pudding
Favorite Chocolate Cake
Lemon Bars
Pound Cake
Schwarzwaelder Kirschtorte
Tiramisu
Cream Cheese Squares
Fudge
Bloody Mary
Margarita
Coffee, coffee, coffee...
Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...

And please, Lord, let Creole tomatoes be in season...

Music? Thank God for iTunes! I'm actually in the process of creating a
"wake" playlist! There will be a wee bit of Celtic music (and bagpipes!) to
be sure. Zither music, a few schmaltzy Viennese waltzes (Strauss's Tales from the Vienna Woods performed by the Berlin Philharmonic, Herbert
von Karajan conducting, if you please!), Josh Groban, and 'On Eagle's
Wings' are mandatory, as are a large number of Gregorian chants, choice works of Palestrina, Pergolesi, Bach's Brandenburg Concerti, and just
about anything performed by Chanticleer!
This must be followed by some groovy jazz for reminiscing (long list)...
My marvelous sons know that my wake would not be complete without
Bach (lots!), Mozart, Brahms, Rachmaninoff, Sting, U2, Led Zep, Duran Duran, ZZ Top, Bonnie Raitt, Edith Piaf, Gloria Estefan, The Buena Vista Social Club, Gipsy Kings, Fatal Mambo, tons of tangos, sizzling salsa, and
the entire Woodstock soundtrack. Ah yes, the 60s. What can I say... It's
only by the grace of God that I came through relatively unscathed. Ditto
the 70s! Looks like this wake could take days, no? Nothing wrong with
that... It takes what it takes!
Oh, yeah. Just in case you are wondering, the answer is "but of course"!
You know - my former husband, the German. Believe it or not. we're on
very good terms these days! I know he's somewhat tied down, what with family responsibilities and all, but just for the record, he's invited. I have
a feeling he'll be quite pleased to join us.
One last Very Important Detail... I prefer that my wake be held while I'm
still living. I don't want to miss the best party of my life, and I'll get to say
goodbye in person! I'm looking forward to it! No, really!
 

Recipe Source:

Cooking for Comfort:
More Than 100 Wonderful Recipes That
Are as Satisfying to Cook as They Are to Eat
 By Marian Burros
© 2003 by Foxcraft, Ltd. (Simon & Schuster)

“We want to go back to a time when life was not so complicated – or, at least,
when we look at it from a distance, it was one that seemed much simpler.
One of the few ways most of us can get there together is through food.”
~ from the Introduction

Mollie Dickenson’s Guacamole Tostados

“My friend Mollie Dickenson once brought this to a cooperative dinner
party. It disappeared so quickly that she achieved instant fame, and now
she is always asked to bring this. It may not be recognizable as comfort
food to those of us brought up on the East Coast or in the middle of the
country, where the only way we ever ate an avocado was with shrimp.
But the ingredients in this must have been comfort food early on in
the West and Southwest, where Mexican influences are as much of
a part of the landscape as baked beans are in New England.”
[As wonderful as this recipe is, it does not fit our personal definition
of "tostados". We consider it rather a variation of one of our all-time
favorites: Layered Mexican Dip.
Can hardly wait to give it a try! MG]

Yield: 16 servings

1 cup dried pinto beans ( see Help Note)
3/4 cup chopped onion
1 large clove garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 1/2 tablespoons mild chili powder
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3 ounces tomato paste
1/4 teaspoon ground coriander seed
8 drops hot pepper sauce
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
2 medium or large ripe avocados
2 tablespoons lemon [or lime] juice
1 cup sour cream
2 large ripe tomatoes, chopped
3/4 cup chopped green onions
1 cup chopped pitted black olives
2 cups coarsely grated sharp white Cheddar
2/3 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro
Good-quality tortilla chips

1. To prepare the beans, cover them with water and soak overnight. Alternatively, cover them with water and bring to a boil; boil for 2 minutes
and allow the beans to sit in the hot water for 1 hour. Drain off the soaking water. Cover the beans with fresh water, and bring to a boil. Add 1/2 cup chopped onion. Garlic. And 1/2 teaspoon of the cumin. Cover and simmer until beans are tender, about an hour. Stir occasionally. Drain.
2. Place the beans in a food processor with 3/4 teaspoon of the cumin,
1 1/2 tablespoons of the chili powder, vinegar, butter, tomato paste,
coriander, and hot pepper sauce. Process until mixture is smooth. Adjust
the seasoning and add salt and pepper to taste.
3. Peel the avocados and mash coarsely with lemon [or lime] juice and
salt and pepper to taste.
4. Mix the sour cream with the remaining 1 tablespoon chili powder and
1/4 teaspoon cumin.
5. Spread the bean mixture in a shallow serving dish. Top with the mashed avocados, then the sour cream mixture. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours,
or overnight, if desired. Up to an hour before serving, sprinkle the
tomatoes evenly over the sour cream. Sprinkle with the green onions,
olives, and Cheddar, and top with the cilantro.
6. Serve with tortilla chips.

Help Note: You can substitute 3 cups of canned beans, thoroughly rinsed and drained, for the fresh-cooked beans, but add the other ingredients cooked with the beans to the recipe. Frankly, Mollie Dickenson uses canned beans in her recipe.
This recipe is best prepared a day or even two ahead. Just don’t add the
tomatoes, green onions, olives, cheese, and cilantro until you’re ready to serve.
Because there are so may flavors in this dish, you can use reduced-fat sour
cream, and trust me, no one will know the difference.

Jalapeño Corn Bread Pudding

“Years ago, when I was looking for a dressing for the Thanksgiving turkey, something moister and tastier than the white bread dressings I was familiar
with, I came upon a Southern dressing that intrigued me because it called
for corn bread.
I tried it, and when the bread was baked, I couldn’t resist sampling a piece
before I added the rest of the ingredients for the dressing. It was a revelation;
so much more interesting and so much moister than the traditional corn
breads I had been served since moving below the Mason-Dixon line. It’s
really closer to pudding.
I’m a convert and my version is what converted me.”

Yield: 25 pieces about 2 by 3 inches, or 7 or 8 cups of cubes

Two 8 1/2-ounce cans or 2 cups PLUS
2 tablespoons cream-style corn
2 cups stone-ground yellow cornmeal
4 lightly beaten eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups buttermilk
2/3 cup corn oil
2 cups grated Monterey Jack
1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon minced jalapeño
2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1. Place a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat the oven to 400
degrees [F].
2. Combine the corn, cornmeal, eggs, salt, baking soda, buttermilk, corn
oil, Monterey Jack, and jalapeño and mix well.
3. Put the butter in a 10 by 15-inch baking pan and put it in the oven for
about 5 minutes to melt. Remove from the oven and pour in the batter.
Bake about 30 minutes, until the corn bread begins to pull away from
the sides of the pan and a knife inserted near the center of the pan
comes out clean.
4. Serve immediately, or turn into Jalapeño Corn Bread Stuffing
[recipe follows].

Help Note: Be sure to use stone-ground cornmeal; it has a better texture
and more “corny” taste.
Any kind of buttermilk works, from whole to nonfat.

Jalapeño Corn Bread Stuffing

[Note: This is a great recipe, bursting with  flavor and in many ways typically Southern. No question about it. However, my experience compels me to add
that I think it should be called "Dressing". That would be the Southern thing
to do. It pains me to take exception to a recipe title published by such an
esteemed culinary authority as Marian Burros. The fact remains that in all
my years of living (and eating!) in the Deep South, I've never been served
"turkey stuffing".
We believe the more typically southern method here would be to roast the turkey
(if that's what you're cooking) unstuffed, and to bake the dressing, of whatever
kind, separately. Do as you wish. I just had to get this off my conscience! Ed.]

Yield: enough to stuff a 12- to 14-pound turkey, about 14 cups

5 cups Jalapeño Corn Bread cubes [see recipe above]
5 cups toasted bread cubes, your choice of type
[use French or Italian bread!]
2 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
2 tablespoons butter
2 cups finely chopped onions
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups chopped green bell peppers
1 cup finely minced celery
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
3 lightly beaten eggs
1/2 cup good-quality chicken stock (approximately)

1. Combine the corn bread, bread cubes, and chopped eggs in a large
bowl; mix lightly. Set aside.
2. Melt the butter in a large skillet and sauté the onions over medium heat
until they have softened. Add the garlic and sauté 30 seconds more. Add
the peppers and celery and cook until tender but still crisp. Season with
the salt and pepper. Cool slightly.
3. Add the onion mixture to the corn bread mixture, blending well. Stir in
the beaten eggs and enough stock to moisten lightly.

Help Note: Don’t stuff your turkey with warm dressing unless you are roasting
it immediately. The stuffing can be made a day ahead, chilled in the refrigerator,
and then used to stuff the turkey in advance of roasting.
There will be some corn bread left over from the recipe. Have it for dinner.

Wake, page 1...

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Marian Burros is the bestselling author of twelve previous books, including ‘The New
Elegant but Easy Cookbook’ (with Lois Levine), ’20-Minute Menus’, and ‘Eating Well
Is the Best Revenge’. A columnist and writer for The New York Times since 1981, she
lives in New York City and outside Washington, D.C.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and security and love,
are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think
of one without the others. So it happens that when I write of hunger, I
am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the
love of it and the hunger for it… and then the warmth and richness and
fine reality of hunger satisfied… and it is all one."
~ M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating