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La Belle Cuisine
Sexy Feast
The New York Times,
February
2002
by Jason Epstein
“Strip away the trimmings and you will find that the essential structure of
all living things, from the dainty amoeba to the boisterous elephant, from
the stately elm to Donald Rumsfeld, is an alimentary system supporting a
reproductive system.
Why or even how this of all possible arrangements
should exist defies ordinary
human understanding. But it is plain to see
that in the great game of survival
every living thing must eat in order to
replicate itself and so sustain the pre-
carious grip of its species on its
place in nature. What strong desires impel this
behavior among the lesser
sentient creatures we can only imagine. We may
assume, however, that these
other living things, unlike ourselves, rely upon
instinct to moderate their
hunger and lust, for unregulated desire means con-
flict and eventual
extinction. But for us, when we encounter a pretty face or
fowl, the
moderating instinct is not nearly as dependable, if dependable at all.
Hence our collective willingness, older than recorded time, to rely upon
priests,
magistrates and sacred texts to govern our appetites: a survival
strategy embedded
in our laws and rituals and known as civilization, a
strategy that our fellow
creatures, governed by instinct, can forgo.
Of the modern holidays erected upon the relics of ancient rites, by which we
still celebrate the rebirth of the sun at the winter solstice; spare the
gravid ewes when
we say farewell to meat at carne vale; rejoice in the
resurrection of the fields at
Easter; and tremble at nature's deathlike
sleep in autumn, the celebration of eros
occurs in mid-February, when,
according to Geoffrey Chaucer, ''[it] was on seynt
Volantynys day Whan euery
byrd comyth there to chese his make,'' instinct telling
them that the
lengthening days will soon be mild enough to sustain new life,
hence the
chicks and bunnies of our own Easter holiday.
On the mid-February day on which we honor St. Valentine, the Romans
cele-
brated the festival of Lupercus, honoring the she-wolf that suckled
Romulus
and Remus. On that day naked priests, their brows painted with
goat's blood,
danced on the Palatine Hill, uttering peals of ritual laughter
as they scourged
the women passing by with whips made from the hair of
sacrificial goats. The
idea was to induce pregnancy. This fertility ritual
probably originated in a much
more ancient February frolic in emulation of
the coupling of birds and rabbits as
longer days announced the coming
spring, a time when villagers paired off their
flocks and presumably
themselves in anticipation of green pastures and bubbling
streams.
Thereafter the primal mating ritual devolved into the odd behavior atop
the
Palatine until by the 1820's the London post office was hiring extra sorters
to handle the Valentine's Day traffic in pasteboard love notes, the blanched
relic
of our ancestors' jolly day of random copulation. Further devolution
leading to
today's chocolate boxes in the shape of inverted bottoms has not
however robbed
the mid-February ceremony of all its primal energy.
Valentine's Day (named if
not by phonetic decay for the Palatine priests,
then for the zealous saint who in
the third century is said to have arranged
secret marriages for Roman soldiers
after the emperor, Claudius II, is said
to have forbidden wedlock as an unwarlike
distraction) still conveys a
giggling air of carnality and the uncertain promise
of raffish coupling.
However you celebrate the day, the reproductive function, whether activated
or
not, must be sustained, and if possible stimulated, by a meal, preferably
supper.
I do not believe in the effect of alleged aphrodisiacs like vintage
Champagne
and caviar, whose erotic charge if any derives only from the
evaluation of the
beloved suggested by their cost.
The thousands of oysters that I have eaten since my childhood days on Cape
Cod have not once inflamed me even mildly, but a Valentine's Day late supper
of
gently fried oysters, scrambled eggs and bay scallops will sustain the
reproductive
system for future, if not immediate, use. For good measure I
have added a recipe
for
clams casino.”
Fried Oysters
Yield: 2 servings.
1
dozen bluepoint or similar oysters, shucked
(unless you've shucked oysters before
and have a good oyster knife,
ask your
fish market to shuck them for you;
do not
use bottled oysters, which may taste tinny)
1 cup yellow cornmeal, preferably Indian Head or Quaker
Salt, freshly ground white pepper and cayenne to taste
4 cups vegetable oil (do not use olive oil)
1 cup Hellmann's mayonnaise
1/2 bunch of chives, snipped into 1/8-inch pieces
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Romaine, cut into 1-inch ''canoes,'' well chilled.
1.
Drain the oysters. Spread the cornmeal evenly on a paper towel. Add
the
salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Dredge the oysters one at a
time, placing
each dredged oyster in a colander. Shake off the
excess cornmeal.
2. Heat oil in a cast-iron skillet or other deep skillet over medium-high
heat until it reaches 350 degrees F. You can also check by sprinkling
some
of the cornmeal in the pan and seeing if it spins and dances in
the oil.
3. Meanwhile, mix the mayonnaise, chives and lemon juice until smooth
in a
small bowl. Arrange the lettuce ''canoes'' on a large serving platter
and
top each with a dollop of chive mayonnaise. Set aside in the
refrigerator.
4. Test the oil by gently dropping (or lower in with a slotted spoon) an
oyster into it. If it bubbles and rises to the top, add 3 or 4 more
oysters. If not, remove the oyster, wait and try again. If you add
too many oysters
at once, you will lower the temperature of the
oil, and the oysters will
neither brown nor become crisp. Remove
the light brown oysters with a
slotted spoon or tongs to paper
towels to drain.
5. To serve, arrange a fried oyster on top of mayonnaise on the
Romaine
canoes. Serve immediately.
Scrambled Eggs with
Bay Scallops and Bacon
Yield: 2 servings.
4
slices of lean bacon
6 fresh large eggs
4 tablespoons butter
Salt and freshly ground white pepper
2 tablespoons heavy cream or half-and-half
or milk
according to your conscience
Chopped fresh Italian parsley, tarragon
or chives to taste
8 ounces very fresh bay scallops
4 slices brioche, lightly toasted.
1.
Broil or fry the bacon over medium heat so that when the slices are
done
they lie flat. Drain on paper-towel-covered plate and set aside
in a warm
oven.
2. Break the eggs into a colander, over the top of a double boiler or
heat-
safe bowl and beat gently using a whisk or a wooden spoon to push
the
eggs through. Add one tablespoon of butter and the salt and
pepper to taste.
3. Cook the eggs in the double boiler or place bowl over pan of simmering
water over medium heat, whisking constantly, taking care to scrape the
sides of the pot where the eggs will first coagulate. When the eggs begin
to
thicken, add the cream, half-and-half or milk. You may add a raw
egg yolk
at this time.
4. Remove eggs from the heat when they have formed small, bright
yellow
curds. You may add some flat parsley, freshly snipped
tarragon or chives to
the eggs.
5. Meanwhile pat the scallops dry with a paper towel and melt the re-
maining
butter over medium-high heat in a 10-inch nonstick pan.
When the butter
bubbles but before it darkens and begins to smoke,
add the scallops in one
layer. Cook until they turn brown, about 3
minutes. Turn and cook until
browned on all sides, about 2 more
minutes. Remove scallops with a slotted spoon and drain on
paper towels.
6. To serve, pile the eggs at one end of a warmed oval platter and the
scallops at the other. Separate the eggs and scallops with a bacon
fence.
7. Serve with toasted brioche and chilled prosecco.
NOTE: For celebrators who skipped supper, this dish is equally good at
breakfast,
in which case combine fresh orange juice with prosecco and
serve a small pot
of pepper jelly with the eggs and scallops.
Clams Casino
Yield: 2 servings.
3
strips bacon
1 small green bell pepper
1 small red bell pepper
1/2 sweet onion
1 jalapeno
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 dozen small cherrystone or large
littleneck (i.e. topneck) clams.
1.
Cut each bacon strip into 4 pieces and lightly fry in a pan over medium
heat. (You don't want the bacon to become crispy since it is going to
go
into the broiler later.) Remove and set aside half-cooked bacon.
2. Chop the peppers and the onion into a medium dice. Chop the jalapeno
finely, discarding seeds. It's a good idea to wash your hands afterward.
3. Add the peppers, the onion and the jalapeno to the softened butter.
4. Add the Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice to taste.
5. Add a generous pinch of the vegetable mixture to each of the opened
clams
on its half shell. Place a piece of the cooked bacon on top of
the
mixture
on each clam.
6. Place the clams under the broiler and let cook until the vegetables begin
to wilt and the bacon is almost crisp, around 3 minutes.
Serve immediately.
Copyright 2002 The New York Times Company.
Used with permission.
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