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Rebuilding...

French Quarter
Art Print
Dynner, Lidia
Buy at AllPosters.com
 

You are probably a New Orleans Native if.............

(continued)

You have no idea what a turn signal is or how to properly use it.

You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and U-turn through a neutral
ground while avoiding two joggers and a streetcar, then fit into the
oncoming traffic flow while never touching the brake.

You can consistently be the second or third person to run a red
traffic light.

You've been rear-ended 10 times by people with no insurance.

You get off the stoop, walk down the banquette and cross the
neutral ground to go get a snowball.

You know better than to drink hurricanes or eat Lucky Dogs.

You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast.

The major topics of conversation when you go out to eat are
restaurant meals that you have had in the past and restaurant
meals that you plan to have in the future.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster
po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You know the definition of "dressed".

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash
it down with a Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on
your stoop.

You have gained 10 or 15 pounds permanently, but you don't
 care anymore.

You think "drinking water" when you look at the Mississippi River.

The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than Chanel #5.

You enjoy sucking heads more than sucking face.

You burl crawfish or fry them in erl, and pack the uneaten tails
in furl.

Then, you wrench your hands in the zinc with an onion bar to get
the crawfish smell off.

There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in you mama's coin purse.

When you speak with a tourist, he asks, "Are you from Brooklyn?"

You're not afraid when someone wants to ax you something.

You were born at Baptiste, raised in Metry and hang with Vic
and Nat'ly.

You go by ya mom-en-ems on Good Friday for family supper.

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a
national holiday.

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.

You leave a parade with footprints on your hands.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together - you
will even eat things those colors.

Every time you hear sirens you think it's a Mardi Gras parade.

You go to buy a new winter coat and throw your arms up in the
air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

Your finest china has Endymion written on it.

Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your
first drink was from a go-cup.

You wonder what Anne Rice has against a building that looks like
a Mardi Gras float.

You have a special set of grungy, well-broken-in-shoes you refer
to as your "French Quarter Shoes".

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your
baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain
seawall catching blue crabs.

You watch a movie filmed in New Orleans and say things like
"Der ain't no way dey can run out a cemetery right onto
Bourbon Street".

Speaking of which, you haven't been to Bourbon Street in years.

You have to buy a new house because you ran out of wall space
for JazzFest posters.

You drink Dixie, whistle "Dixie", and name your dog Dixie.

You describe a color as "K&B Purple".

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You worry about a deceased family member returning in
spring floods.

You reply to anything and everything about life here with
"Only in N'awlins".

You have a monogrammed go-cup.

A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder
if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French
Fries that fell under the seat.

You move somewhere else - and you feel like you are from
OZ and you landed in Kansas.

You make groceries and get down to tha sto on The Airline.

You took out a second mortgage to pay a contractor to shore
up the attic - so you could store more Mardi Gras beads.

You know how to pass a good time, yeah. And you know
that don't mean you missed it.

And you NEVER ever say New OrLEENS (unless you're a
songwriter and need it for a rhyme).