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"To cook is to create. And to create an act of integrity, and faith."


Diet for STRESS



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"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. 
Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth."

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Sunday, June 01, 2003

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19 March 2003

Okay. Here we are. On the brink as I write, and (barring a major miracle) actively
at war with Iraq by the time you read this. Not an easy time for us dolphins... Business as usual? Well, not exactly.

Please understand up front that this is not a political statement. It is not my intention to write about what I believe the USA should be doing about Saddam. This is simply an observation. Period. If you need to vent, contact the White House.

In the course of my routine for the past couple of days,  I have done my best to tune in, to take the pulse of my surroundings if you will. What is the atmosphere, what is the prevalent mentality here in La Place, LA, about 30 minutes west of New Orleans? The good times ain't exactly rolling...

In a word, what we have here is STRESS. We could expand that to anxiety, trepidation. Fear. Pure and simple. Things are quiet here. Too quiet. Very little chit-chat. Very few smiles. The communal expression is Serious. Very Serious. As well it should be. We are preoccupied. We find it very difficult to concentrate on the tasks at hand, no matter how routine. What to do??? Eat. (And please. Take this in the spirit in which it is intended, okay? I am trying to lighten up!)


Diet for Stress

[If only I knew from whence this prescription came, I would gladly give credit where it is due. All I can tell you is that it has been in our files for a very long time. And I have, of course, taken the liberty of adding a personal touch here and there...]

"This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day (week, month, year...)."

1/2 grapefruit
1 slice dry whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon snack:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke or beer
1 large sausage, mushroom, and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Evening Snack:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)
One bottle Paisano red wine (if you are having trouble sleeping)

Additional Rules for this Diet:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has NO calories.
2. When you eat with someone else, calories do NOT count unless you eat more than they do.
3. There are NO calories in food/drink used for medicinal purposes:
chocolate in any form, rum and coke, peanut butter, cheesecake, ice cream.
4. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
5. Things licked off knives and spoons have NO calories if you
are in the process of preparing something.
6. Anything consumed while standing has NO calories. This is due
to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
7. Anything consumed from someone else's plate has NO calories
since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and
will cling to his/her plate.
8. If you drink plenty of Coca-Cola with your food, it will neutralize 50%
of the calories you consume. Therefore, you can eat twice as much!
Every Southerner knows this.
9. If you add bourbon or rum to your coke, this will increase its calorie-neutralizing power to 75%! Every Southerner knows this.
10. Gravy (in any form) has NO calories as long as you eat it on top of something such as biscuits or mashed potatoes. Eat as much as you want. Every Southerner knows this.

REMEMBER: What is STRESSED spelled backward? DESSERTS!


Still having trouble? No problem...


In a relatively large glass mix equal parts of Amaretto, Chambord, and pineapple juice. Shake this concoction with ice and strain it into a cobalt blue glass decorated with sun, moon and stars (or favorite glass or your choice). Top it off with ice-cold Champagne. Drink. Take two aspirin. Drink again.
Do NOT call me. Put some Mozart on the stereo. Get some aromatherapy going. Turn off the phone. Go to bed.


It seems to me that the thoughts I have expressed to you several times
during the past 18 months or so bear repeating:

Until next time, remember... Be well, stay safe, enjoy your freedom.
And please. NEVER take it for granted! Count your blessings. Express your gratitude. If you love someone (and surely you do!), tell them so. Today.  Now. They should not have to figure it out for themselves. Hug your spouse, your children, your parents, your siblings, your pets, and tell them how much they mean to you... Eat something delicious, nutritious, and comforting. And please be sure to include some beauty in your life today, be it in the form of flowers, music, art or your favorite hobby. Call a friend. Live love. Live with passion. Give a damn!

God bless America.


Featured Archive Recipes:
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And on a more serious note:
What can I offer you?


"It seems to me that our three basic needs, for food and security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others. So it happens that when I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and the hunger for it… and then the warmth and richness and fine reality of hunger satisfied… and it is all one."
 - M.F.K. Fisher, from The Art of Eating



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